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Hey, Jesus, I just wanted to share some stuff with you...

Well, I had a fantastic time at Walsingham with Youth 2000 last weekend. It was so amazing to spend so much time praising you and loving you! It's like every time I go to Youth 2000 I love you more and more and I find out how much I want to love you forever! Right now, I feel as though I want to be with you forever. I mean, I know you're with me all the time, but I want to spend more time with you through Your Blessed Sacrament form... if that makes any sense, I wasn't sure how to put that across, but you're Jesus, you get me. I loved spending time in Adoration and just coming to you with my problems and praising you by singing and stuff - it's so great! And all the talks are so inspiring! I was talking to Hannah and Tess today and we were saying how great it would be if you could start every day off by being transported to Youth 2000 for some silent adoration, followed by praise and worship and some praying and a talk and then we decided that Heaven's probably just like that. We'll get the same out of heaven as we do Youth 2000 retreats, only more. I'd love that, Jesus, to spend eternity praising you.

I feel like something has changed inside me since Walsingham. I feel like a different person because I love you so much more than I've ever done that before. The only thing is, I'm still not treating other people the way I should. It's so easy to be irritated and hurt and jealous when really I should love everyone. I mean, if I really loved you, I would see you in everyone else and love them for it. But I don't. I'm a huge sinner, Jesus, but I'm working on it. I'm happily doing morning and evening prayer, going to daily Mass, filling my days with religion so as not to forget you (like Fr Philip said at Y2k, everything that we do there we can do at home - that homily helped me so much!) and hopefully I'll be doing weekly confession ... have to find out where I can go for that at uni... and I'm praying the rosary a lot too. I should talk to you more. That's kind of why I'm doing this. Anyway, I'm trying to kind of envelope myself in religion, if that makes sense, and hopefully, gradually, I'll learn to be the way you want me to be. Help my patience Jesus, help me with my sinfulness...

When I was doing evening prayer yesterday, the scripture reading really stuck out to me:

"This is a cause of great joy for you, even though you may for a short time have to bear being plagued by all sorts of trials; so that, when Jesus Christ is revealed, your faith will have been tested and proved like gold - only it is more precious than gold, which is corruptible even though it bears testing by fire - and then you will have praise and glory and honour. You did not see him, yet you love him; and still without seeing him, you are already filled with a joy so glorious that it cannot be described, because you believe; and you are sure of the end which your faith looks forward, that is, the salvation of your souls." - 1 Peter 1:6-9

I pasted that off another website to save typing it since I'm a bit rushed here so I hope that's right. But it just really stood out to me that yes, I'm happy at the moment and, inevitably, I'm going to suffer - I'm particularly worried about going back to uni - but Jesus will be with me. He's there for me and it will all help my faith.

Anyway, I have to go now... talk later Jesus.


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